Why ‘The Story Solver’?

It’s tempting for me to believe that readers of this blog spend whole days wondering, “Why did she call it ‘The Story Solver’?”

Possibly not, although I have been asked a few times why. The story is this:

Back a few years I was looking for a project to undertake for my High Performance Leadership (HPL). I needed only the HPL completion at that point to become a Distinguished Toastmaster. I decided that a blog on the topic of putting stories into speeches would be something I could do and it would have continuing usefulness to Toastmasters.

So I assembled an HPL team and started in on the blog.

First thing I needed was a title. I knew that the word ‘story’ needed to be in there. But then what? I cast around for some time, talked to my HPL team and slowly came to the idea that stories were what made speeches interesting and memorable. They solved the problem of dull and boring speeches. And that’s where Story Solver came from.

This was before the idea of stories being the answer to every communication need had become popular. Even so it was not unique. Someone had already grabbed the web site ‘storysolver..com’ so I had to add “the”.

In the years since i started the blog, story telling has become ubiquitous. Almost everyone, Toastmaster or not, has realized that adding stories into a speech helps to interest the audience and to increase the retention of the speech ideas. I’ve been asked to speak on the topic to a variety of audiences and made friends in different countries through the blog. It has brought me much happiness.

The Story Solver has been read by tens of thousands of people – not huge by web standards that only are impressed by millions, but still well ahead of anything I ever expected. The Story Solver became a book that has sold steadily over the years. Again, I’ve found it very satisfying.

People have also asked me, “Why the flowers?”

It’s a personal thing. I find the clip art type photos of happy, successful executives just too common and cheesy. I like flowers better. The photo I’m using at present is one I took in a neighbour’s garden on a day when I thought their daisies looked perfect.

I intend to continue writing thestorysolver.com as I listen to a variety of speeches – both Toastmaster and other speeches – and ideas occur to me.

Do you have ideas to share with me? Please let me know.

Speech Evaluation – 2015

How I go about evaluating a speech

I start with a clean sheet of paper and I write reminders to myself on the top:

Smile, use third person, start with “It is my honour/privilege to evaluate (name’s) speech (speech title).

I write sub-heads down the left hand side:
Opening
Structure
Content
Presentation
TIP
Best
Conclusion

I feel it starts my evaluation off logically if I start by quoting the speakers first words, with a compliment about their effectiveness in relation to the purpose and the topic of the speech. If the conclusion connected really well, mention that and point out the link

Structure – usually only takes a quick mention but it’s important to include it.

Content – what the speech was about. Did the speaker include the three important elements – humour, emotion, stories/anecdotes? Be specific about these and how they supported the speech as a whole. Were the transitions smooth?

Presentation – how did the speaker show confidence, passion, connect with the audience? Was the body language appropriate to the speaker and the topic? Select specific details to support your point.

The tip should be phrased in a positive way. “To make this speech even better, I might suggest…” and follow this up with a concrete suggestion. More than one tip is OK but it’s best if they are related

Best. Follow your tip with the one thing you liked best in this speech, say it with enthusiasm.

HAVE AN OBVIOUS SUMMATION. Brief is OK but this is the climax of your evaluation speech, so prepare it carefully. Do not forget this or you will lose marks.

This is just the basic outline – of course there are many other things you might mention, depending on the speech and, of course, on the limited time available. You won’t go far wrong if you cover these bases.

Pretty Distractions

The purpose of a speech is to give the audience something – a laugh or a smile, hope, information or inspiration. So all parts of your speech should support this purpose.

If your purpose is humour, you find your funniest stories and build them so they are even funnier than they were to start with. If your purpose is to inspire people to, say, work harder, then any humour should relate to that. If it doesn’t serve the purpose, no matter how funny it is you leave it out.

It comes under the old mantra for writers – ‘Never fall in love with your words’. If you see that it doesn’t quite fit, but it’s SO good that you leave it in, then you have given your listeners a distraction.

It’s like wanting your son to marry this worthwhile and intelligent girl, then introducing him to someone who is cute but a total airhead.

The same thing goes for a lot of introductory material that seems important but isn’t really relevant. By all means, when you first write your story put all the background information in – but be ready to cut all that doesn’t support your speech purpose.

No matter how important it seems to you. No matter how integral it was to YOUR experience. What matters is what it will mean to the audience and how integral it is to their understanding of this one message.

Suppose your theme is the importance of family support. Your build your story around the way your family helped you through a serious bout of depression.  Perhaps it took months for you to get a correct diagnosis and this was frustrating. A lot of detail about going from doctor to doctor is not relevant here. It might be worth a brief mention if your family were helping you through it. But only the family support part is relevant, not the inadequacies of Doctor A, Doctor B and Doctor C.

Beware of sub-stories that are pretty in themselves, but not adding to the power of your speech. Let’s say your sister visited you every day in hospital. It’s tempting to go off on a tangent that says that she came even though she was having a problem with her husband who she suspected of having an affair with a young women in his office because he was working late all the time and going off on weekends when he had promised to mow the lawn and… yada yada.

Just let the audience know she had her own problems – they will get it without the minutia.

When you are tempted to add detail or background give each piece the purpose test. Ask “Just how does this support my purpose?”

Have Fun!

When I was very new at presenting speeches – and very terrified – fun was he last thing on my mind. Survival was everything. Could I present it without falling flat on my face? Could I keep breathing so I wouldn’t pass out? Would I fall over my feet? Would I forget all that I had practiced?

Then young Aaron, who was one of our best speakers, saw my terror and said “Forget all that. Just have fun up there.”

Fun? Was he kidding? When you’re fighting for your life, fun is away off in never-never land.

But that was a few years ago and I’ve never forgotten it. Now that I’m more comfortable ‘up there’ I can sometimes have fun.

How?

Stop thinking about you and start thinking about them – the audience. What do they want of you?

And your thought process goes – “How should I know what they want? – I’ve promised a speech and I don’t know what to talk about. – I could talk about coaching hockey because I know a lot about that, or making angel food cake, which will it be? – I know, I’ll talk about selecting a dress for prom night. Good, that’s that decision made. ”

Did you even stop to ask “Which of my possible topics would the audience prefer?” or “Which topic would make the most interesting presentation?”

Early in your speech design ask “How can I put fun into this topic?” And the more serious your topic the greater the need for fun. If you’re talking about funeral planning your presentation had better have some really, really funny observations thrown in between the serious points.

Once in a while you may be speaking as an expert in your field. You will be expected to come across with useful information but that still doesn’t mean that you can’t give the audience some fun between times. Humour and stories are what will make your important points stick and be remembered.

Once in a while you may be delivering a motivational or inspirational message. The stories and fun highlight the more serious part of your message, they create contrast between the lightness of the humour and the important weight of the message.

But if you are working on your Competent Communicator manual put some fun into your speech just to give you and the audience a break. Try to give the audience a laugh. What if some people don’t ‘get it’? Forget them. Focus on those who did get it. See that lady in the second row? She’s still smiling, sitting forward waiting for the next opportunity to laugh. Give her that next laugh. It feels wonderful – not just to her but to you too.

When you find somebody who is really ‘into’ your speech you’ve found the sweet spot as a speaker. Giving fun to someone else creates the fun for you.

Try it. Give fun to get fun.

Have fun with your speaking.

 

Speech Respect

I went to my favourite coffee shop this morning and had an English muffin and coffee. It was good! But the oddest thing happened.

After I was finished the English muffin a different wait person came up to me with another English muffin and the same jam choice I always make.

“Would you like another English muffin?” she asked. “The kitchen made two of them.”

Well, um, no, thank you. I had eaten as much English muffin as I wanted.

It’s rather the same with speeches. We get hooked on one topic forgetting that the audience may have heard from you all they need to hear about that one topic. A little was good. More is not necessarily better.

Remember that the audience is giving you a generous piece of their time. Respect that. Vary the topic and the pace. Make their time spent listening to you worthwhile.

In Silence

I heard a speech given by Simon Sinek, best-selling author of “Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action”.

He was making a point about sacrifice within an organization. Too often, he said, the many are expected to sacrifice for the benefit of the one leader when in fact the one leader should sacrifice for the benefit of the many.

He repeated “Many are expected to sacrifice for one leader”. And then he silently mouthed the words “That’s backwards.” as he made a hand gesture indicating ‘backwards’.

It was highly effective. Have you ever tried that? Just silently mouthing your brief, important  point while making the relevant hand gesture?

When each member of the audience fills in the silence for themselves they remember it far more clearly than if the point had been made orally by the speaker.

Try it sometime.

Value to the Audience

As I write this our Toastmaster contest is approaching its District finals. Many speakers have been eliminated. Those remaining have polished their words, practiced, edited their speech and practiced some more. Eliminated a section, added an anecdote and practiced again.

They have received suggestions, ideas and critiques. They have been told they have too much of this and not enough of that. Or not enough of this and too much of that. Or both.

But throughout all this one thing remains as constant as the North Star:

Your speech has to have value to the audience.

It needs the humor, the emotion and, of course, the stories. But they are the clothing that makes your valuable idea interesting and acceptable to the listener. Your valuable idea is the soul beneath. It is the bedrock on which you are building.

You can tweak and edit and adjust all you want but the constancy, the shape, the stability of your valuable idea should not be diminished by your changes. Your changes build and illuminate; they do not chip away at your idea because you have found a line that is funnier or an anecdote that brings a bigger hit of emotion.

The criteria for change are:

– it makes my premise deeper or adds insight to it

– it it makes my premise clearer and brighter for the audience.

You present your idea with emotional honesty (the audience will sense it if you don’t). This emotional honesty is what carries your message. The audience has probably heard this idea before – few speech ideas are truly unique.

What takes this idea – your idea – from ho-hum to enlightening is your honest insight into your weaknesses and your growth. This is the value you give to each person in the audience so they can take your experience and use it in their own life.

Share your ideas with honesty and the change you bring to others – change you may never know about – is the real reward.

 

Your Important Message

What if you have an important message – one that you strongly want to share with other people? It might be political or religious or just plain motivational or inspirational.

You might want others to join the struggle for…to believe that…to help make this change to….

You might have had an experience that so moved and changed you that you want others to be changed by it also.

It’s so important to you that you feel you must tell others. You need to stand up and tell them. You can call it a speech or a sermon, a lecture, an address, a talk but you have to stand up and tell it. It’s just that important.

The question is – how do you start putting it together?

There are three basic rules:

• Don’t preach
• Tell stories
• Be very clear about benefits

Don’t preach

Resist the temptation to show them the error of their ways. The wrongs of the past may be very clear to you. People have sinned, political parties have been corrupt. Grievances abound. Let it go.  If you do mention it, tie it to the way of the future – a future you can show could be much better. Be specific about the ways it can be better if…

However much you believe that your way of thinking and acting is vital and it will improve people’s lives, resist the temptation to tell them what they OUGHT to do. Nobody reacts well to being told what they ought to believe, how they ought to  live their life, or what change they MUST make. It sets up a resistance and makes your job of changing their behaviour twice as hard.

Instead, show how the change has benefitted yourself or others. Show how the change can improve the future for them. Show, don’t tell. Which leads to:

Tell Stories

Your stories and the examples that illustrate your points are what will carry your message home to a deeper level. A smattering of facts and a whole lot of stories are the structure that will draw people in to listen. Your stories can be personal or about others whose experiences have been relevant.

Your stories are about real people who have physically and emotionally “been there”. The emotion is the most important part. It could be raw or warm or anywhere in between. But sharing the feeling is far more important than sharing the fact.

Be very clear about benefits

Many important messages ask that people change in some way or follow a course of action that is unusual for them. People find change or doing the unusual to be difficult. For this reason you spend time researching the benefits that will follow. If you can, brainstorm the benefits with others because different points of view will enrich your list of benefits.

Once you know the benefits, find the story that you can tell about them. In this way the points you make are not mere logical reasons, they are benefits. As you speak, the list of benefits grows.

You wrap up with a call to action. Make it resoundingly clear how your audience can achieve these benefits. Make their first step very clear.

Then step out of the way so your message can do its work.